life as a college student

victimize:

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I don’t understand…. why do have feeling of giving up… Maybe it could be because of the stress of school, but i don’t know. Lately i just feel so lazy and don’t want to do anything and just hope for something or anything out of the ordinary to happen. and this laziness truly has taken a toll on me… and i am beginning to hate it. Well not hate it but dislike it, i rarely run anymore every since i got cut from the track team. And i am beginning to gain some weight and yeah i know it is just a number on a scale and i shouldn’t care, but it sure is different when you are the one experience this feeling. I see that number 184.6 and it just bums me out…. i have never weighed this much in my life. But perhaps i just feel like this because all throughout my life i was always fit and doing something. I ran track and field for around 6 years and now that this was the second time that i didn’t get on the track…. i don’t know…. 

Still i feel like i should be happy, i have great girlfriend and good advisers and good friend up here.  A supportive family and i am still in school and doing pretty okay with my classes…. but why now…. why this feeling? Maybe this is the reason i stay up during the night. Who know…. still i really don’t know what i am going to do once i graduate from here and when i look around my girlfriend and my friends know what they are going to do. I know my girlfriend tells me she doesn’t know what she is ganna do still but i know she will get it, she has always found a way to surprise me and she always strives to move on forward. Yet i just stand here feeling like i am at the bottom…..